ADVENTURES OF PEANUTBUTTERJAM

Dear Tech support:

Last year, I upgraded from boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a slowdown in the performance of the flower and jewellery applications that had operated flawlessly under the boyfriend 5.0 system.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as romance 9.9, and installed undesirable programs such as NFL 7.4, NBA 3.2, and NHL 4.1.
Conversation 8.0 also no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I’ve tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. What can I do?

Signed,
Desperate

Dear Desperate:

First, keep in mind the Boyfriend 5.0 was an entertainment package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Try to enter the command C:/ITHOUGHTYOULOVEDME and install Tears 6.2. Husband should automatically run the applications Guilt 3.3 and Flowers 7.5.
But remember, overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to default to such applications as Grumpy Silence 2.5, Reading Newspaper 7.0, or Watching Sitcoms 6.1. Please keep in mind that’s Watching Sitcoms 6.1 is an annoying disruptive program that will create SnoringLoudly.WAV files.
Do not install Mother-in-Law 1.0 or reinstall another Boyfriend program. These are not supported applications and will crash Husband 1.0. It could also potentially cause Husband 1.0 to default to the program Girlfriend 9.2, which runs in the background and has been known to introduce potentially serious viruses into the operating system.
In summary, Husband 10 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and can’t learn new application quickly. You might consider buying additional software to enhance its system performance. I personally recommend Marriage for a Lifetime Seminar 3.0 and Marital Intensive 4.5 combined with such applications as that old standby…Lingerie 5.9(which has been credited with improved performance if its hardware).

Good luck,
Tech support

1 Peter 2:24

“Do not give the devil an opportunity to work.” (Ephesians 4:27, ISV)
So many people today are living with less than God’s best because they’ve allowed fear to creep in and take root in their lives. Fear is the greatest weapon the enemy uses to try to hold us back. Fear is not from God. Scripture tells us that fear brings torment. It’s designed to paralyze us and keep us from God’s blessings.
The good news is that God is greater than fear. His power in you is greater than any power that comes against you. But in order to walk in His power, you have to close the door on the enemy. See, the enemy can’t have access to your life unless you open a door and give him access. That’s why we have to be careful about what we watch, what we listen to, what we read, and what we say. When we open ourselves to fear, we give the enemy opportunity.
If you’ve allowed fear to steal from you in any area of life, today you can be free — you can be finished with fear. Conquering the enemy starts by making the choice to close the door on fear, and instead, meditate on God’s promises. We overcome by the blood of the Lamb and word of our testimony! Let His truth sink down into your heart. Declare it out of your mouth. Let Him set you free and lead you into victory as you close the door on fear!